Not every couple seeking support needs psychotherapy.

Sometimes the marriage is not in crisis — but it has begun to drift. The connection that once came naturally has grown quieter. The friendship beneath the marriage has thinned. Conversations feel more functional than meaningful. The same conflict patterns keep resurfacing.

You still love each other. But you know your marriage could be stronger, closer, more intentional, and more fulfilling than it is right now.

Relational drift does not mean something is clinically wrong. Sometimes couples need treatment. Other times, they need structure, education, accountability, practical tools, and an intentional plan for growth.

That is where marriage coaching can help.

Marriage coaching is a structured, goal-oriented, forward-focused service designed to help couples strengthen the relationship they already have — and intentionally build the marriage they want to create.

Rather than diagnosing or treating clinical conditions, coaching focuses on questions like:

• Where are we now?
• Where do we want our marriage to go?
• What patterns are keeping us stuck?
• What needs to change?
• What skills do we need to develop?
• What can we begin practicing differently right now?

You leave every session with a clear focus, practical tools, and specific next steps to apply in your actual marriage.

I bring more than twelve years of clinical and coaching experience, a doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy, specialized training in sexual intimacy, and decades of lived experience in covenant marriage — alongside a deeply held biblical understanding of marriage, its purpose, its challenges, and the sacred responsibility couples carry to intentionally steward what God has entrusted to them.

My goal is not simply to help you solve a problem. It is to help you build the skills, habits, and intentionality needed to create a stronger marriage.   Schedule Your 15- minute Complimentary Consultation

Coaching vs. Therapy — What Is the Difference?

Therapy is a licensed clinical service — appropriate when concerns involve mental health symptoms, significant trauma, severe emotional distress, clinical sexual concerns, relational instability, or complexity requiring diagnosis, treatment, or the protections of a clinical relationship. I provide psychotherapy only when clients are physically located in jurisdictions where I am legally authorized to practice.

Marriage coaching is a nonclinical, educational, and developmental service. It does not diagnose or treat mental health disorders and does not establish a psychotherapy relationship. Coaching focuses on relationship growth, communication skills, accountability, intentionality, practical strategies, shared goals, and developing healthier patterns.

During your consultation, we will determine whether coaching is the appropriate fit. If therapy, crisis services, or another level of care would better serve your needs, I will tell you directly — and I will never place a couple in coaching when their presenting concerns require clinical care.

Who Marriage Coaching Is For

Ready to grow — not just survive.
Your marriage may not be in crisis, but you know it could be more connected, more intimate, more intentional, and more purposeful. You want more than simply getting along.

Feeling stuck in repetitive patterns.
You keep having variations of the same disagreement. One pursues while the other withdraws. Criticism creates defensiveness. Silence follows conflict. Resentment quietly builds. You know the cycle is not working — but you have not yet found a way to change it.

Preparing for a major life transition.
Becoming newlyweds, welcoming a baby, blending families, career changes, relocation, caregiving, retirement, empty nesting, remarriage, or major ministry transitions. The goal is to navigate change without losing connection with one another.

Newly married and building intentionally.
The early years establish patterns that can last for decades. Coaching in the early years is one of the highest-return investments a couple can make.

Seeking enrichment without clinical treatment.
You do not have to wait until something is broken before investing in what matters. Some of the best clients I work with simply want a stronger marriage.

Faith-committed and wanting a coach who understands covenant.
You want support that honors both healthy relationship principles and your Christian faith — exploring marriage not only as a partnership but as a covenant, including questions of love, service, intimacy, purpose, forgiveness, stewardship, and legacy. Biblical principles can be incorporated throughout the coaching process according to your goals and preferences.

What We Work On Together

Every coaching engagement is personalized — your goals determine the direction of our work.

Communication and conflict.
Learning how to have difficult conversations without the conversation itself becoming destructive. Listening differently. Communicating needs clearly. Reducing criticism and defensiveness. Repairing after conflict. Turning disagreement into deeper understanding instead of competition.

Emotional connection and friendship.
Rebuilding the friendship beneath the marriage — intentional connection, emotional responsiveness, quality time, affection, shared experiences, and rituals of turning toward each other.

Sexual intimacy and desire.
When sexual disconnection is primarily a relationship-growth concern rather than a clinical condition, coaching may include education and conversation around communicating about sex, desire differences, emotional and physical intimacy, and rebuilding closeness. Note: coaching does not diagnose or treat sexual dysfunction, trauma, medical conditions, or other clinical sexual concerns. When clinical or medical evaluation is indicated, I will recommend appropriate professional care.

Breaking unhealthy relationship cycles.
Identifying the patterns that repeatedly pull you away from each other — pursue and withdraw, criticize and defend, avoid and accumulate resentment — and learning how to interrupt them.

Covenant vision and intentionality.
Helping you define what you are building together — the values, legacy, faith, purpose, and shared vision that guide the life you create as a couple.

Premarital preparation.
For engaged couples who want more than completing a requirement before the wedding. We explore communication, conflict, finances, intimacy, expectations, family of origin, faith, roles, boundaries, and covenant vision. The goal is not preparing for a wedding — it is preparing for a marriage.

When Coaching May Not Be the Right Fit

Marriage coaching is not appropriate when concerns include active domestic violence, coercive control, fear of a spouse, current abuse or exploitation, suicidal or homicidal thoughts, severe or untreated mental health symptoms, active psychosis, substance dependence, significant trauma symptoms requiring clinical treatment, serious sexual dysfunction requiring medical or clinical evaluation, or an immediate crisis requiring intervention.

Coaching is also not appropriate when one partner is being forced or pressured to participate. Both partners must voluntarily agree and be willing to work toward mutually established goals. Your safety and wellbeing always take priority over preserving a coaching engagement.

The Make a Better Marriage Private Coaching Program

Investment: $2,200

This is not simply six conversations about your marriage. It is a structured three-month marriage-development experience designed to help you understand your patterns, strengthen your connection, practice new skills, and build greater intentionality into your relationship.

What is included:

Pre-coaching relationship and goals questionnaire — before our first session, both partners complete a detailed questionnaire exploring your current relationship, primary concerns, strengths, goals, and what you hope to accomplish. This is a coaching-readiness and goal-development tool — not a psychological or diagnostic assessment.

Six 60-minute private coaching sessions — each with a clear focus and specific next steps. Sessions are typically held every two weeks, completing the program over approximately three months. Weekly pacing is available for couples who prefer a more concentrated experience.

Personalized between-session practices — practical exercises, conversations, reflection activities, and relationship practices to apply between meetings. This is where new skills begin becoming part of your everyday marriage.

Progress tracking — throughout the program we revisit your goals and evaluate what is changing, what remains difficult, and where additional focus is needed.

Final marriage growth summary — a written summary at the conclusion of the program covering areas addressed, skills developed, patterns identified, progress made, recommended practices, and next steps for maintaining momentum.

Limited between-session support — brief coaching questions or clarification related to your assignments may be submitted between sessions through the designated communication method. Between-session communication is not for emergencies, crisis support, or clinical concerns. Response-time expectations and communication boundaries are explained before coaching begins.

How the Coaching Process Works

Step 1 — Schedule your complimentary 15-minute consultation.
Our first conversation is about fit. I want to understand what is happening in your marriage and whether coaching is appropriate for your needs. If another level of care is more appropriate, I will tell you.

Step 2 — Complete your coaching readiness and goals questionnaire.
Both partners complete the questionnaire before our first session — so we begin with clarity on your strengths, concerns, goals, and relationship priorities.

Step 3 — Establish your marriage growth plan.
During the first session we identify your primary coaching goals, the patterns you want to change, the strengths you want to build on, and the outcomes you hope to experience. You leave with your first practical assignment.

Step 4 — Practice, strengthen, and adjust.
Across the remaining sessions we apply tools to your actual relationship, evaluate what is working, address obstacles, and continue moving toward your goals.

Step 5 — Create your sustainability plan.
At the conclusion of six sessions we review your progress and identify the practices that will help you continue growing. Some couples conclude at this point. Others choose an additional package or periodic maintenance sessions.

Contact Dr. Lila

If Therapy Becomes Necessary

Occasionally concerns emerge during coaching that indicate clinical treatment would be more appropriate. If that occurs, I will discuss it with you directly. The coaching relationship may need to be paused or concluded. If you are physically located in a jurisdiction where I am legally authorized to provide psychotherapy and establishing a clinical relationship would be appropriate, we can discuss that option. If I am not able to provide the clinical services you need, I will recommend that you establish care with an appropriately licensed professional.

Virtual Coaching

Marriage coaching is provided virtually through secure videoconferencing — available to couples throughout the United States. Many couples appreciate virtual coaching because it eliminates travel, makes scheduling easier, and allows them to engage in the work from the environment where their relationship actually happens. The practices you receive between sessions are designed to be applied in your home, your routines, and your everyday life together.

What Couples May Experience

Every marriage is different and results cannot be guaranteed. The coaching process is designed to help couples develop greater understanding, intentionality, communication, connection, conflict-management skills, emotional closeness, shared vision, and confidence in navigating future challenges. Your progress will depend on your goals, participation, openness, practice between sessions, and willingness to make changes together.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is coaching right for us if we have trauma in our history?
Possibly. Having experienced trauma does not automatically mean coaching is inappropriate — the important question is how that trauma is affecting you today. When trauma symptoms are significant or require clinical treatment, therapy may be the more appropriate starting point. We will discuss this during your consultation.

Can we participate in coaching while one or both of us are in therapy?
Sometimes. Individual therapy and marriage coaching may complement one another, but the roles and goals must remain clear. Please discuss this during your consultation. Coordination with another provider would occur only with proper authorization.

What if we begin coaching and later realize we need therapy?
I will discuss it with you directly. We may pause or conclude coaching and identify the appropriate clinical next step. Your wellbeing is more important than completing a coaching package.

Is marriage coaching covered by insurance?
No. Coaching is a private-pay, nonclinical service and is not billed to health insurance. The full investment is $2,200, payable in full or through the available installment option.

What if one spouse is more interested than the other?
That is common. What matters is that both partners voluntarily agree to participate and are willing to engage honestly in the process.

Do you offer individual sessions?
The six-session program is the standard engagement because lasting growth requires continuity. Couples who have completed a program may schedule periodic maintenance sessions at $350 per session.

Is this Christian marriage coaching?
My work is deeply informed by my Christian faith and biblical understanding of marriage. Biblical principles, spiritual reflection, covenant, prayer, and Christian marriage formation can be incorporated for couples who desire a faith-integrated approach. Biblical integration is always thoughtful and responsible — and never used to excuse abuse, coercion, manipulation, or unsafe dynamics.

Investment

All coaching services are private pay. Payment plans available.

Just so you know-

You do not have to wait until your marriage is in crisis to care for it.

Some of the strongest marriages are not marriages that never struggle — they are marriages in which two people learn how to notice when they are drifting, turn toward one another again, and intentionally invest in what they are building together.

Your marriage is worth more than simply surviving another year. It deserves intentional care. It deserves continued growth. And sometimes the most important decision a couple can make is to stop waiting for things to become worse before choosing to make them better.

Ready to strengthen your marriage? Schedule your complimentary 15-minute consultation to determine whether the Make a Better Marriage Private Coaching Program is the right next step for you.